Britney Spears won’t be performing at the Emmys, but the washed up lip syncher pop tart has definite ideas about how to revive her sinking career.

According to sources, Britney is trying to land a sexy photo shoot for Maxim magazine because that type of exposure has done wonders for her career in the past.

There were claims that Britney broke down in tears after the VMAs last week, crying “I’m a fat pig.” So which is it? She either thinks she’s a fat pig, or she thinks she’s so sexy that landing the cover of Maxim is going to make people take notice of what a goddess she is and magically transform her image.

Where is Criss Angel when you need him? Forget Criss. Magic tricks aren’t going to do it. This girl needs divine intervention.

Filed under: Britney Spears